Been thinking about that last email...
I was in the dressing room at Marshalls over the summer when I heard a mom speak and ask if her daughter ( 10-12 ) was through trying on the clothes. Her daughter said she had found a bathing suit and had her mom check it out. Her mom said "no, thats not good.."
"Mooooommmmm I love it, I want it....."
"You look way to fat in it, it's not good."
"Mom you're so mean. I want it !!!!"
"Ok, but don't complain to me about it later."
Are you able to talk to your teens or preteens about their clothes? Or anything for that matter??
You need to practice dialoging with your children WAY before the teen years to have any success doing it in later years.
Shopping with one of my daughters for a bathing suit one summer....I made it clear that we were not going to buy a bikini or anything that remotely resembled one. This did not surprize her. She did make the comment that there would probably not be anything to pick from to which I replied,"Well if you can't find one that I approve of we will simply not be buying a bathing suit today."
Go and sit outside the highschoolor mall someday and look at what the kids are wearing. Tight, short, revealing, ragged, dirty and pajamas.... Now I do believe that there needs to be some lee way for kids to express themselves but I have not left my daughters to guess what I think is appropriate. There will NOT be any midriff showing. Pants will NOT be too tight. NO cleavage...Not too short.
This is not just a "mom" demand for the issue has been talked about in a dialog so that we both understand each other.
Start now...
The young girl I spoke of earlier paraded a chubby body in a little bathing suit that did not fit or flatter her and no one took the time to stand firm .. what happens in a few years when she is now flaunting a grown up body?
Talk to your kids...about things....clothes, dating, health habits (cleanliness) friends, smoking etc... Start young and build on it using examples that you will run into along the way.
" Did you just notice how that girl talked to her mom?"
" What do you think of that girl's outfit?"
" See those young kids smoking in the corner...what do you think about that?"
" Have you ever noticed that she is never without a boyfriend and it's a different one each week?"
" Did you hear that guy just scream at his kids Hummmm what do you think happened?
" Don't you think he should have held the door for that woman behind him?" etc etc etc
Use life to your advantage and talk to your kids!! Start young they may have more to say than you can imagine!
Blessings!
Marnie
Pass it on
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