Why is it SO HARD to get your little one to say “I’m sorry.”?
Sally has ______________________________ (fill in the blank) You say “Oh no Sally ..that was not a nice thing to do! Now you tell Peter that you are sorry.”
The mouth clamps shut. The back straightens and the standoff begins.
What do you do?
It is hard to get much of anything across to your little one as long as there is an audience. It is best to remove the child to a more private spot, get down on his/her level and deal with the situation. Explain in detail what just happened or (get to the bottom of what just happened). Talk through why it was wrong. Be prepared to take a little time.
When there has been understanding tell your child that she needs to go and ask forgiveness. This is important.
I know so many adults that are unable to say they are sorry, unable to admit that they were wrong. It needs to become a way of life when the child is young so that it is not so big of a deal when they are older.
If Sally continues to balk at the request bring in a consequence and follow it through. “You can just sit here in this room until you are ready to apologize to Peter. When you are ready come and get me and I will go with you.” The apology needs to be complete. The child needs to be taught to look into the person's eyes, speak clearly (no whispering or whining) say that they are sorry and for what. “Peter I am sorry that I broke your YoYo. Will you please forgive me?” Then Peter needs to say “Yes, I forgive you.”
Parents this is training for life. Life will be full of give and take, apologies and forgiveness. Don’t skip over this important training in your child’s life. This is a valuable lesson.
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