THE TRUST ISSUE

Trust begins to develope at a very early age. I am talking about being able to trust your child.

Trust takes a long time to build. It builds block by block, instance by instance, wise decision upon wise decision.

In the early years children can't be trusted. They just don't know and they are too young to know. When you are visiting a friend or relative it is YOUR responsibility to know what your 1-5 year old is doing at ALL times. Even if there are other kids in the house or they're with Dad upstairs, Mom you best be checking in. Someone's makeup might be getting ruined, nailpolish spilled, precious things getting messed up all because a small child is left on their own. Parents it IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. (and if something gets ruined or broken you really should take responsibility)

As the child gets a little older (5ish-8ish) you should be able to leave Sarah with Judy playing Barbies in their room or Johnny and Sam playing in the sand box. It is still wise to check in every once in a while but longer periods of time can be taken.

As the children get yet older and hopefully wiser (not sneakier) opportunities for overnights, visiting away from home, etc begin to present themselves. Go at it slow and in small chunks. Scope the situation first and make sure you know all the details. We need to loosen the apronstings slowly. It is MUCH harder to tie them back again once they have come undone.

Those situations through which trust is built are like dominos stacked one by one beside each other and unfortunatly it only takes one toppling to knock down the whole row! When the children are small the rows are short and knock down often. As the kids get older the rows are longer and the fall is more devastating. It is very hard to start all over again.

As you build these trust levels, keep the channels of communication open. Communication skills are a vital part of maturing and go hand in hand with trust. The child needs to earn your trust and part of that is by being willing to dialog with you and not getting irritated that you are asking too many questions.
Again, Remember You ARE THE PARENT. You will never get these days back again so take it slow and easy.
There is no rush and theres nothing much sweeter than the realization that you can trust your child.
Blessings,
Marnie