Sex in the Kitchen.....

Now most people think that it begins in the bedroom but I think that it is in the kitchen! 


Ask yourself this....Do your children know that you and your husband are in love?  Do they see hugs and kisses? Do they notice sweet words and endearing glances?  Do they see that playful tap as you walk by each other?  I remember a woman telling me about the conversation that she was able to have with her teenage daughter as she was washing her nightie in perfumed water, getting ready to go on a weekend get away.


I pray that there is not even a question in your child's mind as to the depth of relationship between you and your mate.  I realize that it goes without saying that there is much more to be considered along these lines...

Emotional attention:   Do your children see you console, listen to and comfort one another?  Do they only hear you say good things about each other ?
Do they see that you truly "prefer" one another over the rest of the world and all that it contains?
Do they see you as an united front?
Are you demonstrating how to disagree in a healthy way?


Believe me.... many things are seen, heard and learned in the kitchen.... 


and for you single parents..... They are learning from your singleness as well....every minute of every day.
How you deal with anger, fear, disappointment and relationships.  On the phone are you saying one thing and acting out another?  
Man ~oh ~ man   Lots more than food is cookin'  in the kitchen!

Criticism

BE CAREFUL OF TOO MUCH CRITICISM.


This is an easy rut to fall into.  Life tends to be tedious and hard.  We easily lose our focus and patience.  Hours can go by without any word of praise but only words of correction and criticism coming out of our mouths.


Stop for a minute.  If you have ever worked for someone that never gave a word of praise you know what I am talking about.  
Now, because of our own hangups, it is not always easy to praise.  BUT  we must.  It is vitally important  It is like miracle grow to the character development of our children.   You cannot praise too much.  


Now I  am talking about authentic praise.  We are not trying to puff someone up or speak something that is not true.  We are talking about children doing their best.  Life, school and friends can all take turns in hammering on your child.  Be his or her cheerleader.  Tell him the words that he needs to hear.  Words that will spur him on to trying harder and doing better.


Your wife or husband will actually respond the same way to authentic praise.


Try it!!  Let's see what happens!

Unpack Your Bags!

Years ago I had a nightmare.  I woke up 3-4 times in one night crying and very upset.  My husband woke and talked with me and prayed with me but everytime I would close my eyes again~I was right back in the "scene"


The dream:


I was inside the house with a bunch of little children around me.  My husband was out in the driveway standing by a car, talking and laughing with a bunch of buddies.  I went to the window and asked if he would please come in and help me.  He looked over at me and said,  "Yah, I'll be in in a while"


I was furious.  I felt he did not understand my feelings and did not care about all I had to do.  I reached down under my bed and pulled out my suitcase, threw it on the bed and started to put my clothes in it.
I remember my children all around me saying, "Mommy, where are we going?"  I knew in my heart WE were not going anywhere and as I saw their little faces, their questioning eyes and innocent query it would bring me to tears (as I knew I was just planning to run away) 


 This is when I would wake up.
After 3-4 times of waking up crying and then falling back asleep only to go back to those "faces", I sat up in bed and said "Lord!  I have GOT to get some sleep!!  Please help me get rid of this dream and doze off"


I quietly heard Him say to me.."Unpack your bags"


So interesting.  Even in a dream the Lord was teaching me that there is a better way to do things, to respond, to care for my family. 


I fell back asleep, found myself surrounded by questioning children, and unpacked my bag.  I put the clothes away, put the case back under my bed and that was the end of the whole thing.


Isn't that interesting?!


I wonder~ Is the Lord trying to tell you something today?  Is your situation stagnant because you are not choosing His ways?  Why don't you just "unpack your bags" and see how things might change!


Blessings

Home: A magic place?

I listened recently as someone spoke of his home as a "magic place". It would seen that our memories get either better or worse as we grow older, depending on our perspective.

How do you want your home to be remembered?

....The yard where everyone wanted to play?

....The safe place? ....The house with the overflowing cookie jar, the hugging mom or the playing dad?

Decide today.
Start to bring your dream about.
Make the cookies. Hug the kids, have the friends over and Dad play ball!
It starts with one thing at a time. A promise made to yourself.

Perhaps;
"I am going to make (1)eye contact with each child that comes into my presence. I will (2)touch them and say a (3)good thing about them"

"I am going to give each one of my children a minute long hug each and every day"

Make your home a magic place. It's not that hard anymore in this uncertain world.

How do you want your home remembered and what can you do to set it apart?

A poem by a mom taken from a book by William Barkley in a "Commentary on Luke"

"Lord of all pots and pans and things,

Since I have no time to b

a saint by doing lovely things ~

or watching late with thee,

or dreaming in the dawn light~

or storming heavens gates.

Make me a saint by getting meals and

washing up the plates."

Magic

Blessings

"Do not provoke your children to anger"

This is a quote from the scripture. Just what does it mean? Who would do such a thing?



Teasing, "poking fun"and with-holding promises can all be ways that we may be discouraging our children and "provoking them to wrath"



It is not a good thing to do.



Now, our big family has done it's share of teasing. It's all done in good fun, I'm sure, but if, by chance, the recipient is not laughing I think we need to look at what we are doing. Learning to laugh at ourselves is a good thing but I know many laugh with the group and then go away feeling picked on and discouraged.



Perhaps it goes with the saying passed down over the generations: "If you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all."



I have carried a sarcastic humor for a long time, in fact I used to have a sign that said, "sarcasm, just another service that we offer" yet I have decided in the past year that even though it can be fun in the right conversation and company...(.sparring and bantering, I believe some would call it) it is probably best to just not "go there". If there is even a possibility of someone getting hurt....why would we do it?



Children learn alot from example.



If we or anyone else have fallen into the habit of playfully teasing, jabbing or ridicule in "good clean fun" I think it's time to stop. Let's replace these actions with encouragement and praise, building our children up when ever we have the opportunity. How about everyday!! The world is sure to keep the balance for us as it tends to be a cruel place to live.



Let's examine our homes and families and make sure that no one's feelings are getting hurt, that no one is being teased and that we deal with the teaser even if it is our self!



Blessing!

Who me....Tired??

So often we are stymied by a problem with our child. We are usually tired and overwhelmed by our lack of ability at the same time. Thus the situation at hand looks like a mountain that will linger on way past any reserve that we might have.



A word of wisdom from my mom, "You are tired." "What does that have to do with anything you may say??" In one word ....EVERYTHING.



Tiredness tends to make us act in ways that we will regret tomorrow. We are not consistent. We parent from our "seats". We cover our lack of action by becoming louder. We make statements that we will not back up...promises that we will never fulfill.



Thus it is ALL IMPORTANT for mom to be rested (as best possible). Go to bed earlier. If you have a baby that is waking up in the night take a nap when the children nap or ask someone to watch the kids while you nap . (I realize when our children are gone this is the last thing we think we should do. We dive into the never ending list, sit motionless and stare into space or perhaps try to jam some activity that we have been wanting to take advantage of into that space. This is not the smart thing to do.



Girls......this time IS NOT going to last forever! I promise! Please hear me. Get your rest!! It will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the tenor of your home. Don't let the molehill become a mountain because of tiredness.



Blessings

shhhhhhhhh

Quiet.....

I wonder when you read that word what comes to your mind,

Are we allowed to have it anymore? Are we allowed to sit down without the outside noise of children, television, phone, radio, computer screen?
Is there any such thing as a "simple, quiet life"?

Is it mandatory to belong to the gym, women's group, PTA, church committee or nite class? Will it make us any less of a person....or for that matter any more of a person?

Can we be allowed to take care of our family without all the outside stresses and cares of the world?

I am not saying that we HAVE to but I AM SAYING that we don't need to feel inadequate or subhuman to simply "take care of our families."

There is a verse in the scripture that says that we should live a simple quite life ...taking care of our husband and children.

Aspire to live quietly, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your own hands” (I Thessalonians 4:11).

Maybe this is a good time to reevaluate your life....your days and see what is filling them up. Is there any "quiet" built in there? Is there time...is there peace and satisfaction? Or are the days melding into one another as you scurry from one appointment,obligation,meeting,class etc to another trying to fit it all in and STILL feel like you have been a good wife and mother.

There used to be a saying "the lazy days of summer...."
HA you say that was not meant for mothers!....Maybe not BUT I encourage you to intentionally take some quite times...just sit and be still shhhhhhh it will be good for you AND everyone else!

Blessings
Marnie