You have just come home from vacation...tired and discouraged. You spent your time and hard earned money wanting to give your children the very best of a trip. Oh, it was OK but little by little you saw that things began to be taken for granted. The kids seemed to not be satisfied and just wanted more. Pouting and grumbling were the noises coming from the back seat of the car.
You, being tired as well, have an overwhelming discouragement and feel like not only are your kids acting spoiled but you feel like you have failed miserably as well.
What to do?
First ....just get unpacked and get a good nights sleep.
After a few days of "back to normal", schedule a time when you can sit together and talk about the situation that seemed so mountainous the day before, (maybe even at the dinner table).
"Ricky and Beth, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes before you go to bed. I've been thinking about our vacation and wondered what some of your favorite times were. Let's each share one or two things that we especially liked. (share)
(BTW if the children had any spending money given to them from a relative/friend, this is a good time to teach them about thank you cards and/or a call along with following through)
"You know kids...there were a few times that made me feel kind of bad as well. Remember when you got so impatient waiting in the line and made the scene? or.... when we were eating dinner and you just did not want to touch your meal and we ended up throwing it out? or...the time that you both were fighting and did not want to go with me to see the show?"
Fill in the blank here parent...be specific and detailed. Let the children/child know exactly how it looked and felt to you. Teach them how to apologize. Teach them how to be conscious of gratefulness and saying thank you.
Yup,it's just another one of our jobs. When you are back to square one and you have made your point allow life to go on. At dinner ask when they were able to say thank you that day. Did they have to apologize at all or give forgiveness? Watch situations that will pop up around you and use them for teaching and discussion.
So when you decide to drive in to McDonalds for a surprise $1 ice cream cone and the kids just dig in and say nothing...you simply pull to the side of the parking lot, turn around and quietly collect those cones and throw them away! This is a cheap lesson that WILL make a big impact. Yes, there may be some crying but you have no need to scream or get frustrated...it is all part of the teaching. "Boys, why do you think I just threw your cones away? no..... no...... dont you remember the converstation we had the other night? Well I was serious. So be aware that there will be many tests in the days ahead and if you do not pass the test there will be consequences.
Set up some situations off and on over the next days or weeks and I guarantee you they will learn "what's best for them" Remember even Pavlov's dog was able to learn that trick!
Blessings !
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