Total Pageviews

Friday, November 30, 2007

#13 It's Dinner Time!!!

Well today I spoke with a Mom/friend that asked if I would speak on meals, meal planning and shopping.

Here goes!

First. I have never been someone who goes to the Market every day. I believe that you spend alot more money that way. Even when there were 14 of us at home I shopped ONCE a week PERIOD. Yes I had 2 fridges and a freezer but my family is not the norm. I would buy 8 gallons of milk at a time, 12 lbs of apples and 4 bags of oranges etc.... it was a major job but I would still do it the same way.
When things were working the smoothest I would make a menu for the week. This works very nicely and cuts the guessing out and you don't cook or not cook depending on how hungry you feel. In the morning you simple take out the ingredients, or even the nite before if its going into the crock pot. Here are some menu items that you might want to add to your weekly meals.

Meat loaf mashed potatoes veg
baked potato with boccoli and cheese, chili, taco meat etc
Baked beans with hotdogs or ham coleslaw and cornbread
baked porkchops
fish
tacos
salad with steak tips
chicken drumstix and rice
breakfast for dinner egg sandwiches, pancakes, frenchtoast
chicken divan
hamburgers
meatball subs
spagetti
american chopsuey
chili
soup
stew
chowder
turkey
baked ham
boiled dinner
pot roast
roast beef
mac and cheese
pigs in a blanket
subs
hot turkey sandwiches
tuna/cheese melt
hotsausage


At one time I had 6 weeks of menus ahead without duplicating
Remember to leave a day here and there for leftovers

We always had "stay up nite" on Fridays ..when the kids would have dinner, get their pjs on and we would put a movie on. Soda (once a week) popcorn etc and would be the treat and Dad would carry the kids to bed when they fell asleep

Sunday nite was "silly supper nite". When everyone was ready we would make platters of fun food....
stuffed celery
crackers with cheese
pineapple
apples with peanut butter
popcorn
sardines and crackers
pepperoni slices
orange segments
we would eat usually in front of a disney movie or something like that. It was relaxed and everyone looked forward to the day.

Monday thru Sat we have always eated together AT THE TABLE. No one goes to their room, to the tv or says they are not hungry. Dinner is served once in the day and if you miss it you miss it. Sports took some toll on this as the kids grew but I would do whatever I could to work around it. I grew up around a "supper table" and my children have as well. I believe it is very important and the lack of has had an affect on the family.
Food is to be shared with fellowship. It is a time of relaxing and talking. Practice it....You can have it too.

Blessings! marnie

Any ??? email me
pass it on
comment if you would like
past emails can be seen on www.comeinandrest.com look at the blog page.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

#12 You want to wear WHAT #2

Been thinking about that last email...

I was in the dressing room at Marshalls over the summer when I heard a mom speak and ask if her daughter ( 10-12 ) was through trying on the clothes. Her daughter said she had found a bathing suit and had her mom check it out. Her mom said "no, thats not good.."
"Mooooommmmm I love it, I want it....."
"You look way to fat in it, it's not good."
"Mom you're so mean. I want it !!!!"
"Ok, but don't complain to me about it later."

Are you able to talk to your teens or preteens about their clothes? Or anything for that matter??

You need to practice dialoging with your children WAY before the teen years to have any success doing it in later years.

Shopping with one of my daughters for a bathing suit one summer....I made it clear that we were not going to buy a bikini or anything that remotely resembled one. This did not surprize her. She did make the comment that there would probably not be anything to pick from to which I replied,"Well if you can't find one that I approve of we will simply not be buying a bathing suit today."

Go and sit outside the highschoolor mall someday and look at what the kids are wearing. Tight, short, revealing, ragged, dirty and pajamas.... Now I do believe that there needs to be some lee way for kids to express themselves but I have not left my daughters to guess what I think is appropriate. There will NOT be any midriff showing. Pants will NOT be too tight. NO cleavage...Not too short.
This is not just a "mom" demand for the issue has been talked about in a dialog so that we both understand each other.

Start now...

The young girl I spoke of earlier paraded a chubby body in a little bathing suit that did not fit or flatter her and no one took the time to stand firm .. what happens in a few years when she is now flaunting a grown up body?

Talk to your kids...about things....clothes, dating, health habits (cleanliness) friends, smoking etc... Start young and build on it using examples that you will run into along the way.

" Did you just notice how that girl talked to her mom?"
" What do you think of that girl's outfit?"
" See those young kids smoking in the corner...what do you think about that?"
" Have you ever noticed that she is never without a boyfriend and it's a different one each week?"
" Did you hear that guy just scream at his kids Hummmm what do you think happened?
" Don't you think he should have held the door for that woman behind him?" etc etc etc

Use life to your advantage and talk to your kids!! Start young they may have more to say than you can imagine!

Blessings!
Marnie
Pass it on
back log of emails on www.comeinandrest.com
Feedback is always welcome

Monday, November 26, 2007

#11 You want to wear WHAT????

Funny how kids are. Some could care less as to what they wear and for others "fashion" is everything!

Sooooo what happens when Janie want to wear the dress up gown to daycare? The bathrobe to church? Shorts and boots to Sunday School? A sundress in the blizzard?

Sometimes we can play along with the game and sometimes we can’t.

That is what needs to be understood.
Autumn comes out with a cape and underwear, playing Superman when its time to go to the grocery store. She does not see the need to change. What do you do?

Taking a moment to explain, tell her that she needs to change into her shopping clothes. Depending on how old she is you can let her help choose or if time is an issue hand her the clothes. YOU ARE THE PARENT. There is no need for guilt here or even a tussell for that matter. Tell her she can change back when you get home or play again tomorrow…whatever is the case.

But insist that she change.

Again communication is key.

In the morning while the kids are eating breakfast you can say," After mommy gets done doing the laundry and dishes we are all going to the store. Autumn you will be able to play for a little while longer but when I say its time to change I want you to just go and do it …understand?" If, by chance, there is a problem deal with it matter of factly and get the clothes out for her to change now. We really want to be teaching our children how to obey and be compliant to our requests.

Children don’t like to have things sprung on them any more than we do . Be sure to communicate ahead of time. Whether it is about bedtime, where we need to go, who they are going to play with and how you expect them to act, a Drs. Appointment or even reminders about going on the potty…..talk about it with them, dialog….make sure they understand.

We ask for problems when we don’t do this and demand that they quickly stop whatever they are doing because we need to go.

Talk to your kids…. They are little people and I KNOW that you will get much better behavior if everyone is on the same page.

Blessings!
Marnie

PS This also can work well for husbands

Remember
1. Pass it on
2. If you no longer want to be on this list email me
3. back log of parenting emails are on the blog page of www.comeinandrest.com
4 . drop me a note I'd love to hear from you!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

#10 Meal Time Messies

Taking a few minutes at the beginning of the meal will make cleanup easier.

Keep a supply of bibs on hand. Bibs take up less space in the laundry than a toddlers outfit. Keep a supply on hand and in the diaper bag. I personally like the type that are made out of a hand towel with an elastic hole for the head. They are very absorbent and work well in the clean up at the end of the meal plus there's lots of coverage!

When you are teaching that little one to eat:

Put just a few things on the tray at a time. Cheerios, small vegs, fruits, meat cubes, cheese etc DON'T get stuck in a rut! Have the child taste new things. Too many children have whittled their menus down to chicken nuggets, mac and cheese and canned applesauce. Don't let this happen!

Don't let Johnny play with his food. He is in the high chair to eat. If he throws his food on the floor stop him with a firm "no". If he continues clear the tray and take him down.

Supervise the meal. This is a teaching time. I have seen moms put whole plates or bowls of food on the tray only to have a mess on the floor...dinner in the hair and everything smeared like a work of art.

If he is not ready to eat don't make a big deal out of it. This is training time. Take him down and don't give him anything until the next meal. He will not starve and he will eventually learn. When I say don't give anything I mean just that! You want him hungry at the next meal time.

Be conscious of what he is eating. Little ones are growing at alarming rates and need good food...fresh and wholesome. I always have a fruit bowl out. It is much more likely to be eaten if it is within sight. My children ate a piece midmorning and one midafternoon. Even today I sliced peeled oranges on everyones plates at lunchtime to go with the meal. Sometimes when the girls (teens) are studying at the table I will set a plate of apples slices and peanut butter or crackers and cheese out for them...it always gets eaten. Otherwise they tend to look for a quick fix of chips and or candy that just add empty calories and do nothing good for their bodies.

Clean up that tray/eating area right after the meal.
Have you ever noticed that food tends to turn to cement over time? It is much easier to take the time, at the time, to have it clean and ready for the next meal. Works good with the dishes in the sink as well....just start:)
1. empty the dishwasher, if there is one
2. empty the sink and clean it out and fill it with fresh hot soapy water
3. put rinsed dishes in the dishwasher ,if there is one, or rinse and set in the soapy water. If they have been hanging around for hours let them set for a few minutes to soak. Wash and rinse, stack and dry and put away WOW the kitchen looks great and you are ahead of the game! Great Job It is much easier to keep up with them than have a weeks worth ahead of you that just cause you to be stressed and irritated! It really WILL NOT take that long.

Well thats all for today Blessings Marnie
Remember
pass it on
email if you dont want to receive these
see the back log at www.comeinandrest.com
and schedule a girlfriends tea! You'll be glad that you did!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

#9 NIP IT IN THE BUD

Have you ever heard the saying ..You better "nip it in the bud"?

Well being a gardener and having sons who are in tree service this saying holds alot of meaning for me .

Your child bites someone. He swears in a conversation with you. She talks back. They don't come when they are called. You get the idea.....behavior that is everything but what you want to see or deal with!

NIP IT IN THE BUD... When a sapling (a baby tree) sprouts a bud (the beginning of a branch) it can literally be broken off with barely a touch of your finger.
Wait a few weeks and the same bud will have grown to the point that to get rid of it you will tear the bark of the tree when you rip it off....wait even longer and the branch will need a saw of some type to get rid of it.

I'm sure you are getting the picture.

When you see the "bud" of behavior that is not acceptable, Nip it..deal with it immediately..it will most likely NOT go away on its own...it is not a phase ...bad behavior will lead to something worse if not dealt with .
You need to focus in when parenting...there are no days off...sorry... but I can say to you the more you deal with them when they are young the easier it will be later on.

Be the parent. If there are numerous behaviors that have sprouted pick the worst and begin there. Mean business. The world and society that we live in don't usually work in our favor. You may feel alone in your decision...dont worry if you dont match up to "Jared's mom who lets him do anything!" Jared's mom will not have to bail your son out of jail or care for your daughters baby. Its your call. Again if you're not sure what is right or wrong ASK Go to someone you feel you can trust and who has been a role model.

Consistency is of absolute importance. Please dont send mixed messages because that is exactly what lack of consistency does.

Deep breath. Parenting is not for cowards. You are on a very important mission to rear a child who will add to this world in a positive way.

YOU CAN DO IT
Blessings M

1. pass it on
2. just write if you want to be taken off the list
3. back emails can be seen at www.comeinandrest.com
4. need help call or email me!

Monday, November 19, 2007

#8 Morning madness!!

For the mornings that you need to be out the door....do your self a BIG favor and plan ahead. OR for any morning for that matter!!!

After the kiddos are in bed take a few minutes....lay out the clothes, find the shoes etc... coats hats etc...you can even have the bowls on the counter ready for the cereal....

I have found that the children do much better all around when they have been prepared mentally for what's coming.

When a new baby is coming home
Tomorrow is the first dentist appointment/drs appointment
grocery shopping
visiting
someone is coming to visit
etc etc etc

Take numerous opportunities to speak of what's coming ...even up to a few days ahead.

"Lisa guess what's happening tomorrow!!! Nannie and Grampa are coming over to visit. Now in the morning we need to eat our breakfast right up and get dressed quickly as there is alot to do to get ready. Now you're going to help me right...Lets see what could you do? etc"

I might say this up to 6-8 times in a day as I continue to prepare "Lisa" for what to expect. You will find that the kids tend to business so much better.

Even this:
"Now girls...the baby is going to be going into your room at the end of the week. I have set the crib up. Now if she cries I dont want you to do anything. Mom hears her and will take care of it. I might let her cry a little cause Im trying to get her to sleep longer so...just turn over and go back to sleep...Dont worry Mom knows what she's doing and I need you to just sleep till morning...do you understand?"

I will again remind them over and over during the next few days ...even quizzing them..." so christine what are you going to do when susie cries in the nite?"

I use this same technique when trying to teach something or change a behavior. Bedtime routines, naps, getting along, sharing etc... can all be worked into those little brains so that when the time comes they know what to expect and how to respond.

Moms you are doing great! Keep up the good work You are shaping a generation!
Blessings! M

Saturday, November 17, 2007

#7 Brand Spankin New

WILL IT BE A MOUNTAIN OR A MOLEHILL???
It’s really up to you
If you are tired it is definitely a MOUNTAIN
If you are rested it will look more like a molehill.
(words of wisdom from my mom) Its up to you to go to bed early to get your rest!!


BRAND SPANKIN NEW!

Well our new grandson made his first appearance today at 3:25PM at 7lbs and 11ozs, 19 1/2 inches long. Elijah James Wells is the son of proud parents Noah and Amy Wells

So on that note.....New borns are fearfully and wonderfully made!

I have a distinct memory of sitting by my baby's crib that 1st day home and watching him sleep. I was crying. My husband, alarmed, asked if everything was alright. I said " He's going to wake up and there are no nurses or doctors around and it will be totally up to me to take care of him!"
Wow what a responsibility!

Breathe. Take your time. Don't climb any mountains and take it easy for a few weeks. Cuddle Sit Rest Nap (when you can) and enjoy this bundle... cause he/she will not stay that way for long!

The baby: has come out of 98.6 degrees so he needs to be kept warm. That little body is not able to generate the heat he needs for himself. That is why you can listen to him scream in his bed and when he's in yours he dozes right off to sleep! A wrapped hot water bottle in a receiving blanket put at his side every time he is in bed works like a miracle!

He will want to nurse constantly it seems. Keep track or you could be feeding every 15 minutes . Make sure you burp him good every so often as many times a bubble will create a problem later that we tend to read as being hungry....again??? We nurse and just put more milk on top of that bubble and that worsens the problem.

If your out and about or just visiting and the baby gets fussy....I find that it is best to find a solitary place...the bathroom, a bedroom or even the car if that is the only place, to be able to calm down yourself and then calm him down. It is difficult when you think that you are bothering people or making a scene. If you cant move, you're on an airplane or something....just apologize to those around you and take a deep breath. The baby can sense your tenseness and it will not help. Don't bounce him but slowly rock and hum. Be as calm as possible and it will help.

The newborn really does like to be wrapped tightly for that first few weeks.

Don't be afraid at what you see in the diaper. His insides are cleaning out and it will look pretty black and scary for a few days. Totally normal.

Siblings;
If there are other little ones around they need attention!! Take advantage of all the sleeping that the baby does.. to read, cuddle and be with the other children. It will assure them that they are not being displaced or overlooked. They will be more willing to help when they are feeling loved themselves.

Hubby. Don't forget the big guy. He needs attention too!! You must admit the mom has stolen the show for the past 9 months and now the new one has come on the scene...Daddy who? Daddy is important.... Remember to support him so that he can support you!

In laws and friends. You can decide how you want it to work. You are the boss. This is your family... no guilt... no fear... You don't want your infant around people with colds etc especially in the beginning. I was never over protective but I was cautious all the same. .... Be understanding and gracious as you take your stand. You will get the respect if you are firm on your parenting role.

Don't forget to take a breather for a bit here and there. Maybe mom will come over so you can go to the bagel shoppe and sit with a cup of coffee of an hour..or dad can have his turn at nite while you go to the store for a break.

Stand back look at that little person.....what do you see for his/her future....what would you like to see in his/her character? What is important to you....Think it through now because he will be out the door before you know it. Be intentional....Tend to child rearing.... Parenting gets done even if you are not doing it.... by the tv, daycare, friends etc..... Please take it seriously and invest yourself into this little one. Perhaps you had a difficult upbringing...no examples...There are numerous resources available today and the only stupid question is one that is not asked!

Sooo Go to Bed! Blessings Marnie
Ps remember if you have a question.. ask , a comment.. make it,
If you want to be removed from the list .. email me and feel free to pass this on to anyone who might have a need. Back emails can be seen on the blog at www.comeinandrest.com nite!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

#6 The Clothes Situation

Years ago I babysat for a family of 7 children. I loved it. One of my memories was that of a bedroom (it was actually being used as a spare room). In this room was a "collection" of clothes that rivaled the backroom of Salvation Army! The closet was full (almost to the top) of clothes that were clean but never put away and the middle of the room held a LARGE pile of clothes that had been donated to the family but not gone through.

What I saw was a hugh amount of wasted space and time. I could have easily found myself in that same predicament if I had not been careful.

First of all childrens clothes are really easy to come by. #1 you can go to the store and buy them. 2. You can accept hand me downs from friends/family. 3. You may acquire them from birthday and Christmas presents. 4. You can shop the yard sales or thrift shops.

I say all of this to say Don't keep too many clothes at a time. If you find your laundry situation looking in the least bit like the scenario mentioned at the beginning it is time to TAKE CONTROL.

1. START

2. Take a pile and go through it piece by piece. If it is stained, ripped, worn, missing a button or has a broken zipper, throw it in the "get rid of" pile.

3. Figure out what your child REALLY needs in a 10 day period of time....that should be enough. You know you tend to wear the same things over and over anyway.
If something does not fit right, is uncomfortable, unsnaps too easily.... get rid of it!

4. Do the same for out of season clothes. Sort, wash and pack away those that you want to keep, easily marked for another child or another season.

When the kids were all at home this was a HUGH JOB FOR ME! It was one that I did not look forward to but the kids loved it and I did it at the change of the seasons spring/summer and fall/winter. I took banana boxes (I had no money for plastic containers) and sorted everything by girl/boy and type of clothes... ie: boys long sleeve shirts, girls pants, girls sleepwear, etc. I did not go by size as 3Ts may fit a 2 or a 4 year old.
(I realize that there will not be many of you that will run into this same problem :))

Wash and fold the clothes and put them away. Keep up with the laundry... throw a load in. Clothes right out of the dryer will be relatively unwrinkled. (a wet towel thrown back in with a load of dry clothes will help take out wrinkles as well)
At the peak of my family I was doing approx 27 loads of laundry a week! What would happen if I missed one day?!!

I had a laundry room down cellar (thank God) and put up a long counter I used the one we took out of the kitchen but you can find remnants at Home Depot... the formica is better than wood as it is smooth and stays clean easier. I made piles for each kid and each bathroom closet etc with the older kids having baskets underneath the counter. As soon as the baskets were full I called the kiddos down and everyone took their clothes and put them away. (dirty laundry was brought down every morning it was someones chore)
I also hung a pipe/dowel from the ceiling so that I could hand things up right from the dryer.

When the laundry was really dirty ( my husband was a tree man) I used stronger detergent, even made my own soap for awhile. I used bleach to keep my whites bright as well.

You will feel GREAT once you get your laundry situation under control... Just DO IT! Keep a bag/basket collecting all the time of clothes to get rid of. It will be so much easier if you just keep up with it!

Monday, November 5, 2007

#5 Those Nite Time Blues

SHHHHHH it’s quiet….Finally all the kids are in bed… when
Moooommmmmm? I’m thirsty, I need to go to the bathroom, I want you to pray with me, I’m scared, my finger hurts, I can’t sleep, Kara is looking at me, I need to tell you something…..
On and on and on it goes….Is there a remedy? YES!!

Remember in email #1 we hit on that eye to eye communication.
Well it all begins there.
We are usually tired by this time of nite…our patience is short…the day is ending .. Finally Maybe you can sit down….and then it starts.
Paint your own picture….how does it go for you.?

Now start all over….perhaps a habit has formed in your household where this type of behavior happens each and every night. Sit for a minute and think about it …. What is actually happening?

In the morning after the kids are dressed and you have your day underway ..set down with him/her/them. Speaking in a calm voice explain what has been happening every night . Tell the kiddo’s that the routine is going to change. Take your evening back!
"Becky, mom has been noticing that every nite when I put you in bed you get up 2 or more times for different things. I want you to know that from now on when I tuck you in bed I’m only going to do it once. I don’t want to hear from you again until morning. Do you understand? " ( This you will repeat numerous times during the day(s)) At nite get Becky ready for bed… do it right….make sure she is clean and has gone to the bathroom, had a drink, been prayed for etc.

This will take more than 5 minutes. .I personally think the kids usually keep getting our attention because we’ve rushed them off too quickly. Cover all the bases and remind them AGAIN that once they are in bed it’s for good. A reward for staying in bed is great to give the next day. Whether you’ve told them or not ….A poster on the fridge with stars or a snack or some alone time with Mom….whatever, you will know what is best

Now if Becky stays in bed but Tommy gets out once Becky gets the reward NOT Tommy. He is not scolded he just notices the special attention that his sister is getting and he will try harder the next nite. I realize there are many scenarios to be had here but I hope that you are getting the picture.
Little ones need to be in bed at a relatively early hour. I know some parents let the kids stay up late so that they can sleep in the next morning but that can get all out of wack. You are best up early, getting the day started and then the kids napping at 1 after lunch . All my kids had a quiet time up until they started school. When I hear someone say "Oh he hasn’t napped since he was 2….I know that simply a habit has been formed.

Remember YOU are the one who sets the rules. Whatever works best for you is best. Children were not born to rule even though in many cases they are doing it.

Again any question email me.

Previous email can be seen on the blog at www.comeinandrest.com
I pray that these words are helping in some small way!
Blessings!
Marnie

Sunday, November 4, 2007

#4 Mind Your Manners Please!!

Mind you manners PLEASE!!
Whether you live in a one room flat or a 12 bedroom mansion …… Manners ARE important!
It does not take long to notice that the use of manners is pretty much a lost art today.
Maybe you don’t even know what is important in the topic of manners.
Well let me tell you some that I know of. You can add or subtract to this list.
1.Don’t talk with your mouth full.
2.Don’t chew with your mouth open.
3.Don’t make noise while you eat. Slurping smacking burping etc
4.No elbows on the table.
5.Don’t eat with your hands
6.Don’t reach in front of someone ask for something to be passed
7.Use the napkin, put the napkin on your lap
8.Ask to be excused if you need to leave the table.
9.If you need to sneeze or blow your nose try to leave the table to do so.
10.Cover your mouth when you cough
11.Always take your hat off when you are inside especially in church.
12.Don’t interrupt while someone else is talking.
13.Respect people and their property.
14.For males…. When a female enters a room and there are no seats left stand and offer yours..insist…. Females if there are no more seats left and an older male or female enter the room stand and let them have your seat.
15.Don’t cut in a line
16.Don’t be rude or crude
17.Don’t talk back
18.Be kind
19.Don’t insist on the biggest piece or the last piece …always ask if anyone would like somemore before you take the last piece
20.When visiting someones house for dinner etc ask if there is anyway that you can help…. Young people clear your place setting after you eat a meal.
21.Pick up after yourselves
22.Leave the area you were in cleaner than when you found it
Write thank you notes
if you are visiting someones house for a few days….keep the room and bathroom tidy.

Pick a few of these to work on with your children. I bought a plastic pig (from a farm yard play set) and would set it by my plate at dinner. When the kids saw this they knew I would be watching. I would simply put it at the place of whatever child was breaking a table "rule" It was fun kept us focused and made us think.
Always explain what you are looking for and why. Sometimes there are not easy answers for why except that "that is what’s polite."
We want to raise children who will be able to carry themselves in any circle without being embarrassed. When everyone has it down perhaps a dinner out for everyone would be a great reward and a way to really try it out!
You will realize that table manners will not be able to be learned in front of the TV or on the run (in the back seat of the car) I urge you, with all that is within me, to strive to sit down together for a dinner meal numerous times a week. My 17 year old, a few years ago , was in a class where the teacher asked for all those that ate as a family seated together to raise their hands. She was the only hand raised in a class of over 25! I believe it is a link to the breakdown of the family in general.
Well again
if you have any specific questions I am available.
If you would like to be taken off this list let me know
Feel free to pass these emails along to anyone who maybe interested.
Take advantage of the time you have!
Blessings! Marnie