The Family Split

I sincerely hate to even write about this as it seems to just document once more the serious decline of the American Family. 


For a number of years I worked in a family law office.  I heard and saw many things as my eyes were opened to what was going on in the world around me. 


Too often I saw children being swallowed up in the divorce procedure.  They were used like pawns as wounded and bleeding parents postured themselves for the next battle. ( most never realizing or admitting that they were involving their children at all)


YOU MUST NOT DO THIS.   


It is best overall if you determine to  keep quiet about your estranged spouse.  Prying information out of your children as to what is going on "in the other camp" not only will cause great confusion and hurt in the child but will do the same for you as well.  


I'm begging you here.  Please do not talk about your spouse with your children.  If you constantly bad-mouth and degrade him/her in front of your child you will promote bitterness and confusion that can very well backfire.  Believe me, your spouse will show him or herself over time without you saying anything.  


I understand that too often the other side may be able to be the "Santa Clause"  who is always able to spend money and do things that the one left behind cannot possibly compare with.  This can be very hurtful as you are just trying to keep the ship afloat while holding the family on a somewhat normal schedule.  Then the weekend comes and it's dining out, movies, bowling, skiing, Chucky Cheese etc etc etc.  It seems so unfair  But believe me when I tell you that the four wall of home are so important.  Established rules, habits and traditions will stand long after trips to the mall have faded. 


Please determine to protect your children during this very difficult time.  They will suffer enough as it is.  Continue to encourage respect, obedience etc towards the other parent. Take the high road. Honestly, I DO realize how difficult this is when one is  parenting wounded, but please for the sake and emotional health of the child protect their innocence.


Blessings!