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Thursday, March 17, 2011

1..............2...............3

This has always confused me.   Why do parents count to three?  Do they not want expected behavior immediately?
Please parents ~ mean what you say and  I would like to preface this with ~  think through what you want before you say it.

When you count, overlook and/or give up you are speaking something louder than words.   "OK,  I don't care" 
Often the parent doesn't even realize what they are doing/not doing and in essence are working against themselves.   This will form a strong hold in your child that will effect them their whole lives.
 
A neighbor told of visiting her sister in another state. She was enjoying her coffee while her sister prepared her 7 year old's school lunch.  He was sitting, ready, waiting in a chair and watching a cartoon until the bus would arrive. 
It was quiet when Sammy said,  "Milk".  My friend watched her sister look up, stop what she was doing, go to the fridge, pour milk, get a straw, bend it, take it to her son and hold it for him to take a drink.  She then put it on the counter and continued to make the sandwich.  My friend said she watched this phenomenon take place 3 more times when she asked incredulously, "What ARE you doing???"  "WHAT?" The mom responded.    Her sister then painted the scene she had just been watching.   The mom stood speechless as she had not even noticed any thing odd about the picture.

This is what I'm getting at.  We train our children with everything we do or don't do ~ say or don't say.

Mom, Dad  Think it through.  Speak it clearly, eye to eye and mean it.  Follow through if you need to.  It is important.    These kids will one day be giving us our medications in the nursing home...I don't want them to forget  me!!

Blessings!

1 comment:

Linda said...

thanks, Marnie... so you are saying we shouldn't give our kids warning that they are going to get a consequence for their bad behaviour? As in the 1, 2, 3 technique. How would you (or did you) go about it? I am at the point with Gracie where she will stop her behaviour usually at 1...sometimes more, but it seems to work ... so I am wondering... are you saying we should just say no, and give a consequence if she does not do it instantly? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks!