Teaching Your Child to Forgive

Teaching Your Child to Forgive

This IS important.

1 Asking for forgiveness

2 Being forgiven

It takes two

Isn't it interesting that from the very beginning.....as soon as they are able....little ones dislike saying they are sorry. This is a result of the "fall" and babies are born with a sinful nature. It comes naturally. They are not taught to sin. As parents it is our job to be molding these babes "in the way that they should go".

Today we chat about forgiveness.

It begins at the toddler stage. Johnny grabs the toy away from a friend, Suzie bites the neighbor, someone gets pushed down and the list goes on.. and on.. and on..Unfortunately with young ones this can happen multiple times a day never mind an hour. It is so important not to overlook these teaching times, because that is what they are!
~ Teaching Times ~

Don't take it so personally! Don't get so bent out of shape! You are the parent and it comes with the territory of children.

When you see an infraction happen or you have it brought to your attention, you need to drop everything to deal with it. I know some of you are saying "Great! I am not going to get ANYTHING done if I tend to this one issue alone!" Yes, that may be very true BUT you must realize that this problem parented rightly will slowly but surely become a non-problem.

So take the time now! You see it or hear of it. You shut the vacuum off and immediately go to the problem.

1. Take the child to the side.

If the infraction is obvious, deal with the child that it applies to. Take the teddy from Johnny and give it back to Suzie and then take Johnny aside and talk it out. You need to take the child out of the center of attention otherwise he will be too self conscious to hear you.We are talking about toddlers at this point. The point making that this is where it all begins and this is where foundational "bricks" are laid in their character. Their ensuing years will be affected by what happens now.

2. Get on the child's level.

This is important. Get down or lift them up to sit on your lap or the counter etc. You need to be eye to eye. You need their FULL attention.I realize that this will most likely involve 2 children (at least) and each will have a different story. You are the master sorter! If it means setting them both in time-out because you cannot get a grip on what happened that is OK. They both will need to say they are sorry and ask for forgiveness.

3. Deal with it to the end.

I know! I know! We would all much rather do what we were doing! So where were we? Ah yes..Johnny is in the corner with us talking. We have gotten to the bottom of the story and now it is time for action. Johnny has heard the talk and been instructed to go and apologize. He needs to look Suzie in the face and say "I'm sorry for taking your teddy." Susie needs to say "I forgive you" DONE

HA you say ~ if it was only that easy!! STANDOFF. All mothers shake their heads together now. What do we do now? I so wish I were eye to eye with all of you now as this could be so much more comprehensive... you have to see it through. The child is removed and set on a chair until ready to do as instructed.You are simply making your point and STICKING TO IT!!
Children are all different. Some will skip away and others will sit for many minutes until ready to comply. It is here, at these ages, that you as the parent are building the authority and respect that in later years will be invaluable as you deal with much greater things.

Blessings!
Please do this exercise with quiet, loving authority. There is no need to act personally insulted. YOU are the parent!
Now I fully realize that many reading this may be grappling with this issue on a personal level. If so I strongly suggest that you meet with someone to help you sort out your feelings, betrayal, anger etc. Your pastor's wife, a trusted friend, or even myself here at Gilead's Balm would be more than willing to help you with this. (You really cannot become a good teacher until you have learned the skill first hand)